A Letter to the Editor
Piecemakers are from long line of patriotsWow! What a bunch of kooks the quilting ladies are. Taking on their own government in defense of their own individual freedom. Where do they get such radical ideas? Especially ideas that "God" is the source of our "rights."
Oh, well, of course there's the Declaration of Independence, which said that "all men are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights such as life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness."
But nobody believes that extremist stuff anymore.
As a matter of fact, they don't even teach it in the government monopoly schools, so it's obviously a bunch of garbage. Our schools would never mislead our children.
And the document called the Constitution has a lot of far-out stuff like "freedoms of speech" and "assembly" and "rights" to be secure in your person, houses and papers against unreasonable searches and seizures." But that's out-of-date, too, because they don't teach it, either, in the government schools.
In fact, the police regularly conduct unannounced searches and seizures of our property so it's obviously perfectly legal and moral. Our police would never violate "honest" citizens' rights.
Why everyone knows that our government would never lie to us or hurt us in any way. They'd never tell us they're "not going to send our boys to fight any foreign wars" and then do it.
They'd never raise the income tax above 3 percent. Or actually increase taxes of any kind. "Read their lips." They're pillars of ethics, all of them.
Tell us precisely how many people have been sickened, killed or maimed by drinking the Piecemakers' tea, or eating their candy or napping under their quilts.
The numbers are apparently horrific because our good public servants would never abuse their authority.
Incidentally, Marie Kolasinski and her friends aren't the first radicals to take on their own government. A few obscure wackos from the past, like George Washington, Thomas Paine, George Mason, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin produced what we would call today "hate mail" and upset the status quo of their day, too.
Those were some really crazy people. And we know this because there is virtually nothing taught about them, either, in the government monopoly schools anymore. So we should try to forget what those extremists did and get on with our lives.
Our government consists only of honest, dedicated, public servants with all the purest intentions.
Why, they told us so themselves.