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July 14, 2007
My Life Story
Hello, my name is Marcy Doi. I'm 25 years old
and incarcerated at Leo Chesney Correctional Facility serving a 2 year,
8 month sentence. My life went into a destroy at the age of 13 years old.
It began with me running away from home because I felt neglected, unloved.
I thought by running away I was reaching out calling for attention. Soon
afterward I turned to drugs to comfort myself to heal my pain. I ended up
living in group homes and foster homes until the age of 18 years old. Living
in foster homes I experienced sexual and mental abuse. I haven't told many
people these things.
After leaving the foster home at age 18 I managed to
hold down a job and save enough for an apartment. I was still using drugs
to comfort myself and numb the pain and hurt I was going through but I
was a functioning addict. This didn't last long though. By age 20 I was
out on the streets trying to survive and support a drug habit. I felt all
alone with no one to help me. I turned to a life of crime, stealing, robbing,
whatever I could to put a little money in my pocket. It didn't take long
before I ended up in and out of jail. And honestly it became a relief; it
was a place to sleep and three meals a day. Each time I was released I returned
to the same life and old behavior. In the meanwhile I ended up pregnant,
addicted to drugs and homeless. I had my baby girl in jail and was left with
no choice to give her up for adoption. I honestly believe that was the best
choice I have made. I couldn't provide the life an innocent child that she
was deserved, she deserved more than anything I could ever offer her. It
hurts me so much but I know I did right by her. After that I only felt more
worthless and began to hate myself. The guilt and pain was unbearable. When
released again from jail I returned to a life of drugs once more and it resulted
in me being sent to prison where I am now. Accepting my mistakes is the hardest
thing for me. Being here, having nothing, no family to help me through this,
it hurts, it really does. In a way I feel I have been truly blessed by Piecemakers.
Thank you. I hope you will respond to my letter.
God bless you,
Marcy
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My Sweet Marcy,
Did you know it is God who wounds us - God who
binds up our wounds - God who brings us to the end of our life? - - - And
guess why - - - So He can bring forth that wonderful new creation He had
in mind eons ago when He started us on our journey. He is finally taking
that seed called the first Adam and having that seed bear the fruit of
the last Adam called Christ. For in Adam all die and in Christ all live.
Your pain is "that Christ" bursting forth out of your old seed. "All of
us have sinned." We are born in sin. So your drugs and sex, etc., isn't what
God calls sin. You were born a sinner. All people are sinners no matter how
"nice" they appear. Behind the mask is hiding that tongue of a serpent that
is all done away with in Christ where charity, forebearance, longsuffering,
kindness - life - life - life, are as normal as death was with its striving,
wars, hatred, etc. So be of good cheer. This day your name is written in the
Book of Life.
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