[Government Run Amock]


August 8, 2007

Dear Email Friends

One more letter to our brothers and sisters in prison.


Marie Kolasinski

Hello Karina,

How are things going?

I'm sitting here answering phone calls at our store switchboard which allows me time to help with any sewing jobs.  Now I am sewing on a quilt block for a lady who has bad arthritis and is unable to finish the quilt herself.  It's kind of a bittersweet situation; bitter, because her arthritis is basically robbing her of the satisfaction of birthing something from start to finish.  I think about how she is somehow cheated of the therapeutic value also.  The sweet side, in a roundabout way, is that God has allowed her life to bless me by giving my life much needed purpose and an opportunity to be a part of helping her out.

Similarly, God is allowing your life to give my life a purpose.  When you said that you struggled with a drug addiction, I thought about how God keeps opening my spiritual eyes to how everything about this life - this weird existence we're all battling our way through - is addicting.  I struggled with addictions to pot, sex, and "you - name- it" for years.  I still struggle at times, although those things pull on me less as time goes on.  It all doesn't magically go away at the snap of a finger.  If it did, then I wouldn't need God.  As painful as looking at myself can be at times, I'm grateful that God has shown, and keeps showing me, what a self-righteous, arrogant person I am.  Thank God He's very patient and faithfully keeps working with and humbling me, although many times He's had to spiritually thump me pretty hard over my head.  I know I'm slowly getting a healing by picking up my spiritual cross daily and dying out to my old self.  Hopefully, gradually, I am gaining a little more of Christ and the Kingdom of God inside of me.

This morning, in our daily meeting, we were talking about how people are so spiritually hungry that they are starving.  For over 35 years, Marie has constantly been feeding us, both spiritually and physically.  Now this awesome prison outreach is happening because of Marie's life and what she has been through.  She is teaching us how to feed others the Truth and the encouraging message of how God's Kingdom is attainable in the here and now, not some place we have to wait, until "Neither shall they say, Lo here! or ,lo there! for, behold, the Kingdom of God is within you." (Luke 17:21)

Karina, when there are times where you feel so incredibly lonely and empty, just know, oddly enough, that these are the times when God is drawing closer to you.  He wants you to get addicted to Him just like He keeps doing with me.  He will help you walk through those dark tunnels to the light.  And just like He keeps filling me with each purpose to keep fighting and living in Him, He'll do the same for you.  I pray these things for you, and that God wraps His awesome arms around your mother and your son Gabriel. Whose beautiful name reminds me of the angel.

Until next time, God bless you sweet friend.